March 8, 2023
I thought I became a mom when I found out I was pregnant. When I first saw that faint blue line and I realised my life is about to change. Little did I know how much exactly it would change. Looking back now, I realise that I didn’t become a mom when I found out I was pregnant. I simply began the process of matrescence. I didn’t complete it when my son was born, or when I started breastfeeding him. No, looking back now that was just the beginning of a long journey. The last 2 and a bit years I have been a chrysalis and only now am I emerging as a complete mom. I have completed my period of transition and emerged stronger, more confident and more well rounded at the end of my matrescence.
But what is matrescence? It is a term used to describe the process of becoming a mother. It is similar to adolescence in that it is a period of significant transformation and development, but it specifically refers to the psychological changes that a woman experiences as she transitions into motherhood.
Matrescence involves changes in a woman's identity, sense of self, and priorities, as well as changes in her relationships and her understanding of the world. These changes can be both positive and challenging, and they can be influenced by factors such as cultural expectations, social support, and the woman's own individual experiences and circumstances.
Gosh, nobody prepares you for this long period of adjustment. I don’t mean the fourth trimester. I mean your whole life turns around. Everything changes.
- Your values change
- Your hopes and dreams change
- Your goals and priorities change
- Your relationship with your partner, your parents, your friends change
Matrescence is an important concept because it recognises that becoming a mother is not just a biological event, but also a psychological and social one.
This clusterfuck of evolution is both turbulent and subtle.
Being a mom is a journey, but i feel my most powerful and meaningful yet. People who think women just birth a baby and go back to their one life are deluded to say the least. Motherhood is a long process of spiritual awakening that leaves you both exhausted and rejuvenated, more connected than ever to your roots and more further apart from who used to be than ever.
Compared to before, I am now a woman who knows what matters in her life, who and what to prioritise. I am much more comfortable setting boundaries, saying no and pushing away relationships and friendships that are not working for me. I prioritise my health for me, not for the external validation because of a newfound awe and admiration for my body. I am more at peace, more content and more grounded than I have ever been.