March 20, 2023
33 and Unapologetic
As I complete yet another trip around the sun and add yet another candle to my birthday cake I begin to think about the lessons learned to date. The person I was vs theperson I am. And the word that comes to mind is 'unapolegic'.
Whether it's age, motherhood, wisodom or the lack of fucks to give, I find myself unapoletically true to myself. Being me is simply easier than it's ever been.
I find myself more and more drawn towards the things that matter. My son, my husbnad, my parents. I focus on nurturing those relationships most above anythng else.
I find it easier to say no to things, people, situations and events that I simply don't feel deserve my time and headspace. From work trips, to meeting people, to attending events, I am much mroe comfirtable to say no. I find myself giving fewer and fewer explanations.
Similarly, I make conscious room and time for the relationships that I do want to look after. Becasue let's be honest, relationships take time and effort.
I am seeking more joy in simplicity. I used to worry about what I can give my son, organising trips and play dates... Now I know that the best I can give him is me. My time and undivided attention. The best thing we could do is sit in the garden and plant courgette seeds. Go in the park and throw leaves in the river.
Today's version of me finds it easier to advocate for herself. Whether it's making medical decisions, or a work related question such as negotiating my salary or openly discussing my capacity at work, I find that speaking up and taking a stand for myself is easier than it has ever been. I feel more assertive when it comes to taking control of my own life.
I have made peace with the fact that not everybody likes me and taht's okay. I've made peace with the fact that nobody will understand me ro agree wirth me all the time, and that's okay too. That's just how life is. I am not everybody's cup of tea and that's fine.
I am who I am no matter what.
These last few years have been marked by a lot of personal growth and I got to say I love this version of me and how comfortable I am in my own skin.
Unapologetically true to myself.