9 February 2020

Married Life Update: Things that Changed After Getting Married and Things That Remained the Same

I have been a missus for just over 3 months now and decided it’s time I reported on how married life is treating us. For the most part, nothing changed. We already live together, share finances and make the big decisions in life jointly. So in that day-to-day practical sense, nothing at all changed.

This being said, some things did change. Small, barely palpable tweaks to our life that I didn’t really expect. So here’s a break down of what did and didn’t change after we said ‘I do‘.

What Changed

Teamwork

We were always a team but now it just feels a touch more solidified. Our goals, for a home and family, financial independence and freedom, it all just feels a bit more real now. The fact you're married means that teamwork is essential to the happiness and longevity of the marriage itself, too. So I've found that thinking as two rather than one really does help both sides of the relationship to stay centred and focused on what makes the relationship better.

Saying husband is satisfying

At first, it sounded all jokey and phoney saying husband, but now…, now I can’t possibly imagine referring to him as anything but my husband. There is this lovely, safe, feeling about it; like we're connected even more closely now.

There’s more depth to the meaning of the word family

I always considered Axl my family and that didn’t change but getting hitched signalled to the world, society, our friends and family that we are officially a family now. It’s almost like saying to the whole world, yes, this is my person.

And also our families are truly linked now. I mean, I was always close to Axl’s family but the way I used to look at it, I was in a relationship with him and not necessarily with the whole family. Now though, his family is my family. His grandparents are my grandparents, his uncle is my uncle, his nieces are our nieces too. Particularly as an immigrant who doesn’t have a blood relative in the country, it feels somewhat comforting to know I have family here.

Being a Mrs

I’ve always been a confident person but since getting married I really got a little bump of confidence. I am now a Mrs, feel more established, more serious, not in a boring sense, but more self-assured. It’s like when you go from a girl who people can dismiss to a grown-ass woman who knows her own worth. I know in reality, nothing changed but something did and it feels amazing.

What didn’t change

Security

I never had my doubts about us or concerns about fidelity so putting a ring on my finger really didn’t change anything.

Intimacy

Again, that remained the same. We’re two passionate individuals so our sex life didn’t take a turn for the worse. Dare I say it, it took a turn for the better. Knowing that this is my husband almost gives me permission to experiment more and be even more liberated.

Personal freedom

Again we were never the type of couple that were joined at the hip and have to do everything together. We have us time and me time. Sometimes he needs a moment alone or I need a day to myself to decompress, that’s fine.

So there you have it, my married life update. I never expected for anything to change after marriage, as some of you know, the only reason why we eloped in the first place is so that we could share a name. If anything, I was hoping nothing would change. Surprisingly, however, I do feel a lot more content with my life since becoming a wife. I guess this is one of life’s pleasant surprises.

Till next time!

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