19 September 2019
5 Things To Stop Apologising For
1. Asking Questions
Particularly at work. I often catch myself prefacing a question with ‘Sorry to bother you but I have a question‘ or ‘Sorry this may be a silly one but why…‘. I now actively try to catch myself before the words come out of my mouth. I don’t think I should apologise for having questions or needing clarification. If anything, asking questions shows engagement and willingness to learn. I am comfortable admitting that I may not know how to do something but I am always happy to learn and improve and this, I don’t think requires an apology.
2. Saying No
Being invited to events is lovely but you have every right to say no to stuff. If you don’t want to go to a party, yet another family dinner or you just want to stay at home instead of having a bender with your mates, then you have every right to say ‘no thank you‘. And guess what, you shouldn’t have to feel like you should apologise for turning down invitations. Respecting your own limitations is a sign of self-respect.
3. Your Priorities
My priority list has taken a huge leap forward in 2019 and although there is still so much to work on, I'm learning that I should never apologise for the priorities I set myself. Whether that’s travelling before saving for a house, getting a new phone instead of putting the money into a savings account, not having a kid so that you can focus on your career… whatever you think is important, as long it doesn’t harm anybody around you, is your damn business. You should never have to feel like you should apologise for living your life the way you want to live it.
4. Other people
Everyone is responsible for their own actions and behaviours. You do not need to apologise for something someone else said or did even if you feel their actions reflect upon you through association. They are their own person and they are responsible for themselves.
5. Being successful
We are taught from a young age that being boastful isn’t a nice trait and instead we should be humble. While this is generally true, I also think that we should never have to apologise for our success. Particularly the type of success that took years of hard work to achieve, such as completing a degree, landing an amazing job when you’ve worked hard to earn the right qualifications, being financially comfortable when you’ve worked hard for your money etc.
Your success required a lot of hard work, dedication and, sometimes, sacrifice. Yes, sometimes luck and good timing were involved as well. No matter how you achieved your successes in life, they are yours to celebrate without feeling guilty or embarrassed.
Next time you feel compelled to apologise, have this list in mind!